Laura

Pur⋅pose

1. the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc

2. an intended or desired result; end; aim; goal.

/ˈpɜr pəs/

I’m here to live the life God has for me. I was created to praise and glorify Him in everything that I do. Do I accomplish this? No, not at all I am afraid.

I was put on this earth for a purpose, God’s purpose. Yet I’m not sure how to fulfill it. I know there is a calling on my life and I’ve been told it was this or that…and I’m just so confused about it. How can I step into my calling if I don’t understand it? And sometimes I feel that I’m not ready to step into it, that there are things holding me back and that I’m letting them hold me back.

Now I started off this blog with a definition. I defined the word purpose because I feel definitions are important. They help me focus and key in on the main points. There is a specific purpose for my blog and that is to be sharing what I will be learning while going through a program called Master’s Commission and hoping it helps out somebody else.

Before I go too far, let me describe what the program is exactly. And because I am complete rubbish at explaining it properly, I’m taking a quote from the main site of the particular program I am attending.

“The "Masters Commission" is not just another church program. It is a one year, put your life on hold, give everything you have adventure that will radically change the way you look at the purpose of your life. It is not a reform school or a ministry training school. It is a year to focus entirely upon God and your relationship with Him and allow Him access to every area of your life. It is not for those who want to become better Christians, but for those who want to become effective tools in the hand of their Master, wherever he calls them. It is for those men and women between the ages of 18 and 25 who earnestly desire to be "Vessels of Honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, and prepared to do any good work." 2Timothy 2:21”

So now that you at least have an idea about Master’s Commission ( henceforth known as MCs) let me dive further into this entry’s point.

The introduction above in italics is an excerpt from my application into the program. This is where I’m at right now in my walk with God. And from what I’ve learned in talking to some others around my age, a lot of people feel this way. A lot of people want to know what their purpose is, what does God want from them? What has he called them to do to further His Kingdom?

One verse that I frequently remind myself of is Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..

And while I am reminding myself that God has a plan for me, I can’t help feeling left out of the loop. What plans? What am I suppose to do for you, God?

One day during my talk with God, I realized something. You could say God gave me a small epiphany. I was reading my Bible and it happened to be the verse above in the quote about MCs. Vessels of honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, and prepared to do any good work. And here came my little epiphany, I’m not ready to know those plans. I’m not ready to step into my calling because I haven’t prepared myself like I should have been doing. Then I feel this little question pop into my head, and I am quite certain it was from God, it was “Are you ready?”

Am I ready? I asked myself… Ready for what? Well the next day I found out. The MCs of 2008-2009 paid a surprise visit to my church that Sunday. And I always love when they visit. Their fire and passion about and knowledge of God and the Bible always leaves me breathless and in tears of emotion. One of them prayed with me and in the middle of praying she stopped and said she felt she had to ask me a question. I told her to go ahead and she said “Sorry if this sounds like I’m just promoting the group but have you ever considered going through the program?”

I stood there, already in tears over our talk, shocked because the answer was yes, since I was 13 and a girl in my church drama group first went. She nodded then asked, “Are you ready?” And with that question I felt God’s pull on me stronger than I had in years.

You can guess my answer. Or can you? I actually still don’t know the answer myself. Yes, I’m ready in the sense I took the step, I made all the necessary arrangements but no, I still don’t feel ready. I don’t feel qualified. I don’t feel like I have what it takes to go through a program like this. I don’t know if I am ready to sacrifice everything I will have to sacrifice to take this journey.

And God loves that. He loves that I’m not qualified because this way he can show me that it’s HIS strength that will get me through this year. Not my own. I will actually have to learn to trust Him in all that I do. This excites and yet terrifies me. You know they say not to pray for patience because God teaches it to you the hard way? Yeah I feel like this is going to be like that.

I’m very prideful (and humans generally are) in a way that I don’t like others to see my weaknesses. But in 2^nd Corinthians 12:9 Paul says But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

I don’t know about boasting in my weakness, but if my weakness being shown and bared for all to see helps God’s power shine…then well bring on the hurt of killing my own pride. And I have no doubt it is going to hurt. But it will be all the more better in the end. God’s power and love will shine through me and touch others and in the end that is why I am doing this. I want to be used by God for HIS purpose, not some purpose I drummed up on my own to give my life meaning. My life has meaning through my Lord and Savior. Your life has meaning and a purpose. Are you ready to find it? Are you ready to lay your life and desires aside so that God’s will can be made perfect in your life?

I’m going to end there for now, but please, if you have any questions or would like to discuss anything, send me an email. I’d be happy to answer or talk with you.

~ Beloved by the Beloved

~ Laura