Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Philippians 2:12-13 ESV

As of lately, I've been on a "spiritual journey" of sorts. I've been questioning things, delving more, reading more, trying to make sense of it all. I've been "working out my salvation with fear and trembling," attempting to understand what that means. I've gone back to the basics, the most simplest of doctrine, and questioned it all. I attribute some of that to the fact that my church is currently going through the teachings of Mark Driscoll, titled "Vintage Jesus."

Friday afternoon, as I was heading in to work, I hit a car in the parking lot. My first instinct was fear. I was scared! Nervous! I pulled away and tore out of there, drove across the street, into another parking lot. I just wanted to hide, to be away, to ignore my problems. I sat in my car fighting tears and tried to calm down. I wanted to pray, but I couldn't speak, I was shaking.

It was then that Jesus began speaking to me. He retold the words my old coach said to me all those years ago:

Integrity.

Doing what's right because it's the right thing to do.

Doing what's right, even when no sees.

Doing what's right, because Jesus commands us to.

It made me think about my life and sin in general. Our first reaction to sin is to hide it. To cover it. That if we can just somehow make it go away, then it didn't happen and we can just move on with our lives. This goes way back...Bible times, even. David, after having an affair with Bathsheba, sent her husband to the front lines to be killed so he wouldn't find out. Judas betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver, and afterwards tossed the coins back into the temple, trying to rid himself of what happened. I hit a car in a parking lot, and drove away, hoping no one would find out.

The truth is, your sin will always find you out. Maybe not right away. David had Uriah killed, and life was good until God sent Nathan to convict him of his sin. Judas went crazy, and the guilt drove him to commit suicide. I was facing a possible hit and run charge, and Jesus wasn't going to allow me to stay in that.

What are you stuck in? What sin have you tried to hide? For some, it's a struggle with lust. Pornography. For others, it's as simple as controlling your tongue. You gossip, lie, or exaggerate things. God is calling you out of that. Turn back to him and repent. Get back in that right standing with him, and walk in the freedom he promises. Don't wait any longer. Become a person of integrity, today.

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